There is an old saying: "Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free." It is an old and possibly crude saying, but it is one that provides truth.
In a thoroughly modern and pleasure-driven world, might this "old and crude" saying possibly be referring to sex? Indeed.
Sex is a very sensual and beautiful act between people. It's an act of passion that brings the couple into a mental bond that no other physical act can accomplish. It amazes those of us who live by the idea that keeping oneself for marriage is widely misunderstood. To ourselves, we are the wise and prudent ones. When we do eventually get married, we will enjoy the everlasting and breathless love that most dream about.
Most people dream of finding their one and only--that special mate to have and to hold forever. People in love want to be together and have a home where that love thrives, and continues to grow ever deeper. These desires are a normal part of both a man and woman's heart.
Just as in everything else today, America in bombarded with titillating sexual images from a media that besides being hopelessly liberal, is also haphazardly hedonistic. We have all seen how the liberal press often misrepresents the truth about most everything else, so why would you think marriage and sex were not fair game as well?
See if you call recall: When do you remember seeing a movie or a television sitcom where married people are really enjoying good and loving sex, and cherishing every moment of their intimacy? No. On the contrary, you're more likely to hear the husband joke that "he gets sex once a year whether he wants it or not.
Woman, meanwhile, use every lame and specious reason to avoid sex with her mate. By the media's standards, married women are portrayed as not being interested in sex with their husbands. The old "honey, I have a headache" excuse is given, thus ending any chance for passion or sexual playfulness.
The anti-marriage media would have you believe that sex between a monogamous husband and wife is only engaged in for procreation. That, of course, is a huge misstatement, and not of God's truth. "The Song of Solomon" is the love story of a man and a woman, their courtship, and eventually their wedding. Further, it is a story of sensual and passionate romance between a husband and wife.
(Listen Song of Solomon 1 - New International Version)
But this does not impress our friends in the entertainment media. When it suits them, they switch the tone and roles of women. Writers and producers will often portray married women as behaving as sluts, having sexual liaisons with men other than there own husbands.
The hit TV show, "Desperate Housewives" began in 2004 and has been a social laboratory of sorts featuring moral debauchery. In 1998 "Sex in The City" also tried to portray all women as sexually aggressive with the morals of an alley cat.
Another earlier yet no-less crude rendition of marriage was the hit sitcom, "Married with Children." Who could forget the long-suffering Al Bundy? In one scene, Al is about to refuse sex with his wife. But that's exactly what anti-marriage progressives in Hollywood love to portray as they produce these types of shows.
Says Al: "Oh honey, that again. Come here a second will you, let me tell you something. Now just 'cause I don't go to bed with you, doesn't mean I don't love you. I mean, let's face it, even if you were beautiful - like that girl on TV - I'd still ignore you. 'Cause you're my wife! Appropriately, Peggy Bundy, Al's unflappable wife, looks suitably shocked. (www.bundyology.com/princip.html)
The portrayal of a dysfunctional American home was perpetuated to belittle marriage, an in its place, if possible, encourage illicit sexual behavior. In the Bundy household, liberal producers in tinsel town presented wife Peggy Bundy as slovenly and lazy who never cooked a meal. The little woman was always slightly overweight and somewhat unattractive. Her children were not her interest, but then neither was her husband. Hubby's greatest interested was in looking at porn magazines to satisfy his sex life, while at the same time dreaming of a spread of prepared food fit for a king.
Unfortunately, the youth of the country are buying into the lie that Hollywood is selling. The cultural war is hot and heavy. Sex without the benefits of marriage is much better, so we are told by a liberal and hedonistic media.
Sorry to break this to our friends in the mainstream media and Hollywood , but love and marriage go hand in hand with good sex. Save your libido for your wedding night. Giving away sex before marriage is almost a sure way of not ever having a wedding ring on your finger. The dilemma cuts both ways for men and women.
Below are the results of my research into this commentary, results that I felt worth relying and repeating to you, the cautious reader.
* Cohabitation Does Not Lead To marriage -- "Although some couples say they cohabit for convenience (e.g., only one apartment to clean) or to lower their cost of living (one apartment is cheaper than two), most adults say they cohabit for one or more of the following reasons: (1) for emotional and sexual intimacy without the obligations of marriage; (2) to test their compatibility; (3) to prepare for marriage by practicing living with someone "24/7"; and (4) to better know each other's habits, character, and fidelity. Some people perceive cohabitation as a way to have a more intimate relationship without the risks of divorce or being trapped in an unhappy marriage. But cohabitation does not lead to marriage in the majority of cases; among cohabiters who do marry, their chances of divorce are actually increased. No one has ever found that cohabitation makes a positive contribution to later marital stability. (http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/...)
* Eight Reasons Why Marriage Is Better than Cohabitation--"In a comparison of relationship benefits and costs, marriage wins over cohabitation. First, as described above, cohabitation lowers one's chances of marital satisfaction. Cohabiters also have a different perspective on time than
marrieds have. Marriage, by definition, means, "I will always be here for you." Marrieds' long-term contract encourages emotional investment in the relationship. In contrast, cohabitation for most seems to mean, "I will be here only as long as the relationship meets my needs."
* Better and Much More Enjoyable Sex Lives -- " Some people would be surprised to learn that marrieds have better sex lives than cohabiters. Although cohabiters have sex at least as often as marrieds, they are less likely to say they enjoy it. Marriage adds the essential ingredients of commitment and security to one's sex life, making it more satisfying. In addition, marrieds are more likely than cohabiters to perceive love and sex as intrinsically connected.
* Conclusion--"In the final analysis, thirty years of research show that for the benefit of men, women, and their children, marriage is superior to cohabitation. Cohabitation cannot provide or compete with the rewards and benefits of a strong, committed marriage. Cohabitation is not an effective "trial marriage," if such a thing exists. It does not provide divorce insurance. Couples will be better off on life's measures of success and happiness (e.g., emotional health, physical health, and personal wealth) if they are married rather than living together. Cohabitation has more costs than rewards but, unfortunately, continues to be popular, especially among young adults, even though cohabiters fail to receive the benefits or avoid the risks they think they will. People need to know that cohabitation fails to bring couples the happiness and stability they desire in a close personal relationship.
* References of the Thirty Years of Research are listed in article
Related Readings :
Focus on Social Issues - Why Marriage Matters for Adults
( www.family.org/... )
Living Together Undermines Marriage and Family 2005
( www.ncfpc.org/... )